Restaurant Combat

If you have never been out to eat with Chinese people, then you are missing something.

You are missing their ability to talk to Chinese waiters in Chinese, and have dishes not from the menu appear. You have missed having these mystery dishes show up, and trying to figure out what they are. You have probably missed eating such delectable, slightly gelatinous treats as taro (lotus root), tree fungus, sea cucumber, chicken feet, and rice noodles. You may not know that beans and hot soups are considered dessert (although, in their defense, red bean paste and peanut soup are both surprisingly tasty!).

But most of all, you have missed paying the check. In America, if you go out to eat with some family friends, and they say they'll pay, you usually acquiesce with a "If you insist" or something on those lines.

But if you are with a Chinese family, they fight. And they don't just grab the check back and forth while arguing loudly (although this happens as well); they fight dirty. They call ahead with their card. Or excuse themselves to use the bathroom and pay on the way. Or send small children up with their credit card to pay. It is beyond ridiculous. If I hadn't been warned, I would have definitely wondered what all the ruckus was about.

And now, you have been warned as well!